What’s even more shameful is the disdain I sometimes have for those younger than me, like I’d never been that age before. Today I watched the Justin Bieber movie “Never Say Never” (I sure did) and I rolled my eyes and laughed at these giddy young girls, screaming and crying and professing their undying love for the young Biebs.  Did I act like that when I was that age?  I mean, New Kids on the Block are different, right?  What are these girls thinking?

Is this what getting old feels like?  If an age barrier between young and old exists, I think I’ve officially transversed it.

Swim. Bike. Run. Hmm…I’ve done all three before, but never at one time.  Wonder how that’s going to work out. I couldn’t find a reason NOT to compete, so here I am, training for my first race (Breezy Point Triathlon) in June.  I’m not looking to win, or to even place for that matter.  This first race will be all about finishing (and the medal and t-shirt I get for playing.  I also like my figure in my tri suit, but that’s for another post.)  Future races will focus on speed and performance and how I can outdo myself for the next time.

So how did I get here?  There are many factors, but the simple explanation is I needed a giant kick in the pants to lose some unnecessary weight I’ve been carrying since my 1st year of college.  I think to myself, “If I can run 3 miles in this amount of time with all this booty and leg fat, then imagine how fast I’d be 15 pounds lighter!” As silly as it sounds, that is extremely encouraging for me.  My goals for this year are sprint triathlon, century ride, 1/2 marathon, bodybuilding competition, and maxing my fitness test.  Achievable, right?  YES!

There are many experiences that lead me to this journey and this path.  My main motivation is the desire to live until I’m 101 years old.  Seriously!  I plan to lead an active lifestyle until the day I die. I definitely don’t intend to be wheelchair-bound or bed-ridden in my old age – you might as well just put me out of my misery. Honestly, I’ve seen too many unhealthy lifestyles for my own good.  There’s a point when you take a look around and say enough is enough and I reached that point. I’m disgusted at our society’s views of health, nutrition, and fitness.  I’ve come to the conclusion that many of the ailments we see today are the result of poor diets, lifestyles, and lack of caring for our bodies in very basic ways. You can draw your own conclusions but mine are based on my own life experiences.

Your future is within your hands – it’s your world.  Forget what everyone else is saying!  I truly believe we each have so much power and potential for great and awesome things, but we often fail to capitalize on our own abilities.  We participate in negative self-talk and divisive behaviors, harboring negative attitudes that keep us in our current situations.  The first step on any journey is a positive mindset for the future.  Along those same lines, many take a healthy body for granted.  We complain about this ailment, make excuses for why we can’t exercise, and so on. Stop making excuses, stop complaining, and pick yourself up and go.  There’s a difference between pain and injury, and a little pain never killed anyone (that I can think of).  I often look at people with limited mobility and think about how much we take simple things like running or walking for granted.  How much do they wish they had a first or second chance to run or dance?

For me, it’s all about leading by healthy example – an example I want to set for my family and those around me.  I cannot make any claims of being super athletic, because I’m definitely not.  Instead, I am confident in my ability to pursue what I want in life, whether it’s fitness, career success, happiness, etc.  If I want to compete in a triathlon, I’m competing and nothing (and nobody) will stop me.  That is the attitude I carry with me and it’s extremely empowering.

So whether your journey is physical, mental, spiritual, or professional, you are the creator and you must find the strength to begin that journey.  Reduce and eliminate barriers to your own success and rid yourself of the negative influences in your life. Your happiness and your life depend on it!

This current move marks number eight since 2002, with six of those being long-distance moves.  Those don’t include the moves I made in my youth when my parents were in the military.  (Geez, I’m not even 30 yet!)  Can I settle down for once? Maybe actually have a real job or a house where I don’t have boxes still packed from two moves ago?  Friends that actually know where I live this time around?

I left Utah in 2005 but some of my closest friends still thought I lived there two years later.  By that time, I had already lived in two more places.  I was only in the favorite place I ever lived (Washington State) for less than 12 months (boo!).  Craziness and chaos have been constants in my life but I’ve welcomed each move as a new and exciting opportunity.  Somehow, I’ve adapted to the changes and grown each time in a different way.  I embody chaos and the unknown, but what it comes down to is that the process of moving stinks and I’m so over it!

To elaborate a little further, let’s take a look at a little holiday we just celebrated, Valentine’s Day.  Back in the day, we used to make or buy cards and take them to school, dropping them  into each other’s fancifully decorated bags and shoeboxes, covered in cutout pink and red hearts and glitter.  We would become sugared-up on heart-shaped cookies and candies with cute sayings.  As we grew older, us girls would swoon over crushes and the possibilities of receiving a Valentine’s rose and card from them.  It was just a cute holiday that made us feel young and playful.  As young women, we dreamed of that romantic Valentine’s moment where someone we cared about would court us with romantic dinners and luxurious gifts and flowers.  I know that wasn’t too long ago for me (ladies, I know you’re with me on this!).

As my youth escapes me, I reflect back on all this and laugh.  Is it that I’m that much wiser?  Or just jaded?  I jest, but something has happened in between that time that transformed the way I think.  I guess you can call it growing up.  I enjoyed a really nice Valentine’s dinner with friends last night that reminded me about the fundamental meaning of celebrations.  There were no expectations or judgment, just good times.  This further reaffirms how I’ve come to despise some of the “traditions” we’ve created.  It’s not that I’m jaded or anything, but corporate interests hijacked what I see as celebrations of life and happiness and transformed them into another excuse to buy things and spend money in ways we don’t need.  What ever happened to just celebrating life without all the bells and whistles?  And why do we succumb to corporately-defined ”meanings” of life?

Personally, my favorite holidays are the ones where you get out in the street and live and celebrate existence in the world, no gifts involved.  I’ve conversed with friends about Mardi Gras.  Some like myself absolutely love it and love New Orleans, while others can’t stand the smell of Bourbon Street at any time of the year. There’s something quaint, eclectic, and mystical about that city and any celebration tied to it. I had the fortune to visit New Orleans several times and some of the best moments of my life occurred there.  And no, it wasn’t because it involved gift-giving or hideous souvenirs.  It was because I got to experience LIFE!

As children, it’s fun to get gifts.  Certain holidays are specifically marketed with kids in mind and I’m okay with that for the most part (in moderation anyways).  This introduces our kids to the celebrations that define us.  And who doesn’t love to watch the eyes of any child light up?  But as adults, we need look at life a little more critically.  Ask yourself this – what means the most to you, things or relationships? (If your answer is things, you can stop reading here!)

Personally, I plan to start celebrating the changing of the seasons along with other excuses to enjoy life and the company of others.  It’s an excuse to live free and be happy.  The point I make is that holidays aren’t about the gifts or the money we spend, they’re about the people we love and meet and our worlds.  Will you join me and resist convention?

Human nature shows us that people want to help in a way that is more direct and relevant than just donating money.  Let’s be honest – even when you donate to an organization, you cannot see where that money goes or what the direct impact is for such a contribution (with that being said, I am NOT discouraging anyone from donating money – please donate if you are so compelled). We are a generation of doers.  We have talents and abilities to directly effect change, yet we are reduced to “helpless” bystanders in a time where it is just unfeasible for everyone to have a direct helping hand.

For a small island nation with limited capabilities and resources, Haiti just cannot support the outpouring of generosity in the form of tangible donations such as clothing and  food from individuals.  While the need for medical staff and supplies and basic humanitarian aid is high, having too many untrained/unskilled people present can become more of a liability if not properly managed.  In times like this, the best way to help is through donations to reputable charitable organizations such as the American Red Cross, Wyclef’s Yéle Haiti, Hope for Haiti Now, and so on.

I have no doubt that a time will come when we as general world citizens can step in and directly contribute in ways that are more tangible and hands on.  All you have to do is reflect back on history to see the pattern.  Remember World War II and the subsequent founding of the nation of Israel?  The Cuban Revolution and the migration of Cuban refuges to Miami and South Florida?  The Vietnam War and the influx of Southeast Asian refuges to surrounding nations and the Western US?  Sudan and the Lost Boys being placed in homes and communities across the US?  Hurricane Katrina and the black American diaspora it created?  What I illustrate here is the fact that major events in world history create demographic shifts in our populations that reshape the composition of US and world societies.  What I foresee with the Haitian crisis is the evacuation and displacement of tens of thousands of Haitian refuges to communities throughout the world, particularly the US, based on its proximity.

In the US, there will be a time when our communities will be charged with opening doors to their homes, churches, schools, and community centers.  We will ask our society to support the expatriation of Haitian refugees.  In times such as these, Americans generally come together and show what a remarkable nation we are.  It will take many years, millions of dollars, and continued presence to rebuild Haiti.  In the meantime, there will be an opportunity for those of us with a desire to actually do something more to make a difference in the lives of those affected by this tragedy.  For now, be patient and steadfast.  If you are moved to donate monetarily, then do so.  But keep in mind that in the coming weeks and months, attention to this crisis will wane but the need for continued support will still exist.  This, my friends, will be the time to step up and fill in that gap.

Let us continue to pray for the lives of those lost in or displaced by this tragedy and for the speedy recovery of this nation.

Three years ago I was essentially laid off from a job I thought was secure until retirement.  I experienced a series of mixed emotions – excitement at the thought of personal freedom, anger that my hard work was repaid with a slap in the face, anxiety for what was ahead, and sadness for the life I was leaving, just to name a few.  I left not having a clear path or knowing what would happen next.

I must say that intuition (along with a little hard work) goes a long way.  Things have fallen into place like pieces of a puzzle, though the journey hasn’t been easy. Waiting tables put me in my place.  I realized how terrible I was at it and I also gained an appreciation for that line of work.  Life presents challenges and it’s often like a game of chess – what’s your next move?  That decision triggers a course of action that affects everything else in your life.

I got a lesson in risk-taking and how tough decisions get made, even when other people think you’re crazy.  I can’t say quitting a job without another job is exactly the logical solution, but it was the right choice for me at the time (based on a gut feeling).  Luckily that decision worked out in my favor, but not without a hard-learned life lesson that things don’t always work out according to plan, or at least what I think the plan should be.

The advice I offer is that regardless of your situation, you are still in control.  Things may seem desperate at times.  I never imagined I’d be where I am today after my experience.  What you can control is how you respond to the situation.  You can give up and delve into a world of negativity, blame, and self-loathing, or you can step back, evaluate the situation, and figure out what your next move will be.  Take the downtime to figure out what you want for your life.  Take classes, explore your interests, travel, work aggressively to pay off your debt, whatever!  And please make sure you give back to those who helped during that time, no matter how big or small your contribution is.  It may not happen right away, but remember this down the road when you’re better off than you were.

When I hear of tough situations from others, what I offer is solutions or advice to last through the long-term.  Nothing happens immediately.  You may have to invest time or money upfront to get where you need to be.  But the payoff will happen and that will be your reward.  Just give it some time.  I truly believe that good things come to those who stay positive, hard-charging, and true to themselves while maintaining their authenticity and dignity.  So to all those who may find that this message applies to them, good luck and keep your eyes on the prize.

1. Set your sights and expectations too high.  Set goals that are clearly unobtainable and outside your reach.  You will lose steam early and surely miss the mark.

2. Be accountable to nobody.  Keep your resolution to yourself.  If nobody else knows about it, then you won’t have to deal with people constantly nagging you and encouraging you to keep up the good work.

3. Leave your plans at home.  Chaos rules!  Flying by the seat of your pants will guarantee that your goal will be in the toilet come Groundhog’s Day.

4. Embrace disorder.  Forget discipline.  Who needs focus, especially at those moments that are the most tempting?  Go ahead and indulge – you only live once, you know!

5. Preserve status quo thinking.  No need to transform your attitude or mindset.  Keep on having the same thoughts you’ve had in the past, since we already know everything anyways.

By following the five steps above, you will default on your promises to yourself.  With the scowl or confused look you have on your face by now, hopefully you are motivated to succeed in the New Year, just so you can prove me wrong.

Happy 2010 friends – it’s gonna be a good year!  Good luck with your resolutions, no matter how big or small.

Now I’m off to work toward becoming a world-class bodybuilder….

Photo originally uploaded by covs97 via Flickr.

I’m in no rush.  I have no agenda, no specific holiday item I’m dying to buy.  It’s just not that serious for me. I’m shopping intuitively, searching for the gift that feels right and knowing that I won’t find it for Christmas Day. I’m okay with that.  Better late than never, right?

To keep myself sane during the holiday season, I’ve thumbed my nose at consumerism.  I avoid the Black Friday fiasco like the plague out of principle.  I could probably conduct a sociological study based on this time of year alone.  I’m annoyed that big business has stolen the fantastic meaning of the holidays and replaced it with a feverish desire to buy, buy, BUY!  What in the world happened?  After all, aren’t the holidays about life, love, family, friends, and giving?  Or could it be that I’m just that naïve?

I resist as much as possible.  I haven’t really planned my gifts ahead of time, bringing me to this last-minute shopping ordeal.  Fortunately I’m not stressed about it.  The people in my life know that I love them all the time, which is manifested throughout the year.   Expectations sometimes set us up for failure.  The pressure to buy this, do this, prepare that.  But really, what happens when those things don’t?  Life goes on.  Luckily for me, grounded people that don’t have super-high holiday expectations surround me.

I’m taking back control of the holidays.  Gift giving is fun and an inherent part of the holiday celebration in our society.  But I want to do it on my terms.

“I’m done with this.  I’m boycotting Christmas!”  Well, at least the way society says Christmas should be.  I think I’ll start next year.

I started the trip in a pretty foul mood.   It’s cold, not as bitter as the day before, but cold enough for the powdery white snow to linger on the sides of the road.   In my mind there is no good reason to drive just hours after the worst winter storm in years pummeled the mid-Atlantic region.   Not even for the six Packers vs. Steelers game tickets we purchased months earlier.

“Road trips are supposed to be fun,” I think as we trek down the highway.   This trip was turning out to be anything but fun.  For some reason, I can’t bring myself to that happy place.  Half our travel party bowed out due to the blizzardy, treacherous weather, the road conditions were tenuous at best, and we were on schedule to miss the game completely.   If I had a worst enemy, I’m pretty sure Old Man Winter would be it.   How do I turn this dying trip around?

One hour into the trip, I-95 north of Richmond comes to a halt.  I refuse to drive when asked, still livid at the whole situation and tired of this short-lived expedition.   My five-year-old is complaining about his aching head and I can’t seem to make him feel better, even after I sneak medicine into a piece of sour watermelon candy.   My husband is vocally irritated about the stop-and-go 10 mile-per-hour traffic.   I climb into the backseat to comfort my son (who I must say has hypochondriac tendencies) and start to people-watch as cars roll by.   It becomes quite entertaining and serves as a great distraction from the nuisance of this flailing road trip.

As I watch and make observations, I create stories in my mind about where each person is going and where they’re coming from.  Cars are stuffed to the max, like clown cars traveling in a circus caravan down the highway.   At one point I witness a Jersey procession, where every car I see has those hideous yellow New Jersey tags.   There’s the lady with the sleeveless shirt (clearly out of her mind!), applying her makeup in the passenger seat.   Heading to a party? You might be “fashionably late.” Then there’s the college co-ed with raging pink streaks driving home to the Midwest in her fuel-efficient hybrid, leaving her school at the beach behind with rocker boyfriend in tow.   And then there’s the guy that I’m pretty sure has been driving on expired Connecticut tags since 2007.   Apparently nobody has bothered to tell him this.

Losing all hope for a clear drive on I-95, we strategically plan our next move.  We exit for a gas station and a detour.  I know this area all too well and play this like a game of chess.   Knowing human behavior, I sense the detouring traffic will bear right toward another major highway, one that is clearly marked from the interstate.

“See you, suckers!” I blurt, as my husband turns left from the exit.  As the mass exodus heads toward US Route 301, I think of how smart we are for venturing the other direction toward US Route 1 (which to my advantage is NOT posted on signs from the interstate).   I also think of how marvelous it will be to venture down that route and zoom past all the gridlock.

Driving down Route 1 brings me an incredible sense of freedom and peace.   A sensation sweeps over me like the cluebird has finally delivered its message. “This is the real America”, one that can’t be seen from the interstate, and one that takes us through the many towns we only see by name from the interstate.  As I rock out in my mind to the radio, an idyllic sense of being runs through my body.   The negativity I’ve harbored for several hours begins to fade as I begin to enjoy the time with my family.   I’m also quite sure that my company is glad that I’m no longer in my rotten, downbeat mood.

We start singing out of tune to the Christmas carols on the radio.  In that moment I realize that despite where we are, the conditions around us, and how our plan fell apart, that as long as we’re together and safe, all is well in the world.

So is karma cloaked as Old Man Winter?  What is the message here?   And what did we really lose?   We’re not making this trip on our own terms, although we like to think we’re in complete control.   Father Time has reasserted the fact that he is in charge, and that he can and will break plans to set us in our places.  Last year, following a previous traumatic winter traveling experience, I stated my days of winter traveling were over.  Apparently I was wrong.